


And the Sun Burned Low

by SelflessAmbition



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Romantic Fluff, andrew loves their cats but he will never admit it, domestic andreil, gratuitous fluff, its real cute, neil likes collecting things, purely self-indulgent, soft andreil, some Fox shenanigans, they bought a cabin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 20:12:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18156506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelflessAmbition/pseuds/SelflessAmbition
Summary: Post series, Neil and Andrew continue collecting things to call home. This time, it's a cabin surrounded by a densely wooded forest and lake. As the years roll by, the pair learn new things, not only about each other.





	And the Sun Burned Low

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This was written for the AFTG Reverse Big Bang 2019 and I just have to say, I'm so excited/terrified to be a part of it this year!! This piece was inspired by the absolutely soul-wrenching (in a good way, of course) artwork by BloodyDamnit on tumblr! This fic is a product of my beta, inspired-aspirer honest to god forcing me, but hey! Here it is, I love it and appreciate her for at least attempting to wade through this self-indulgent fluff.  
> A massive thank you to Gabriella for answering my many, many questions and I hope you enjoy!:)

Time had never really been all that important to Andrew, he could easily flick through the years in his mind but lately he found himself counting them more so, in the freckles on Neil’s skin. He used to find himself constantly being thrown back into memories, memories that would tear strips into his psyche and burn holes in his heart, but lately with Neil curled against his body, all he could recollect was the _good_.

  
When he thought about the years, he saw flashes of red hair and those eyes, Neil’s mouth on his neck and his body beneath it. He thought about the cats and the horrendous fox-orange that Neil loved so much but absent from it all, was pain.

  
It was troubling, to say the least.

  
Andrew wasn’t soft, he hadn’t ever _been_ soft, but Neil made him want to try. It was the slow kisses that lingered on his tongue for hours, Neil’s fingers in his hair and bright blue eyes piercing his vision. It was Neil getting up for a run and triple checking the locks before he went, it was Andrew carrying Neil to bed after he’d fallen asleep on the sofa.

  
But it would be a lie if Andrew said he didn’t still think of the _what ifs_.

  
 _What if_ , this just didn’t work anymore.

  
 _What if_ , Neil hadn’t come back.

  
 _What if_ , Neil grew tired of his cool indifference.

  
 _What if_ , Andrew did something wrong?

  
It had been years since he had thought like this, but just because Neil had stitched him back together all that time ago, didn’t mean that the old scars weren’t still there.

Because time, to Andrew before had sung to the tune of repetition, an unending cycle of nothing that knocked him off his feet with every revolution, it was a fuzzy vignette of what could be and what never would. Time, to Andrew, now stuttered brazenly to a halt when Neil pressed his palm to Andrew’s chest, it was lazy Sunday mornings and bedhead, it was _home_.

  
When they bought this godforsaken cabin, Andrew swore he would not lift a finger in its restoration but there he was, haphazardly dragging assorted couch cushions and paint cans up their absolutely treacherous staircase. When he reached the top, he regarded a red-faced Neil that had perched himself on one of Andrew’s erratically thrown cushions from a previous trip.

  
“Enjoying the view?” Andrew huffed, snatching the half-drank purple water bottle from Neil’s unsuspecting grasp.

  
“I am now,” Neil hummed, regarding Andrew as he stuffed a cushion into the outdoor furniture. Andrew cast him an unamused glance but Neil only shrugged and contented himself by continuing to gaze at the sky. Andrew tossed another violently orange cushion down beside where Neil had situated himself and crashed down on it next to him.

  
“What could you possibly be looking at?” Andrew asked, his tone indicating indifference but by now, Neil knew better. Neil outstretched his arm and levelled his head with Andrew’s, their temples pressed together, he pointed towards the blue sky.

  
“Wait for it,” he whispered, turning his face into Andrew’s cheek. Andrew waited for it, but after a few minutes, he was still unsure what exactly he was waiting for. Impatiently, he jammed a finger into Neil’s ribcage.

“ _Andrew_!” Neil gasped then swatted his hand away, “can’t you just enjoy the silence?” He wrapped his arms around one of Andrew’s and despite the heat, Andrew didn’t have the heart to push him away.

  
Finally, he understood though, the lull of the forest around them was silent but deafening all the same. The birds overhead chirped and sang at one another in beautiful harmony and the dense forest whispered carelessly around them. The soft gurgle of the nearby lake was just barely audible over the constant buzz that ran through the woods.

  
Neil breathed in slowly, taking in the fresh mountain air and Andrew followed suit, the sweet scent of pine and cedars rose hair on the back of his neck but the aggressive grunt that sounded as someone started the trek up their stairs jostled Andrew out of his calm stupor.

  
“ _Why_ would you choose the only cabin on this side of the northern hemisphere with such steep steps?” Nicky cawed, placing the boxes beside the door and throwing his upper body against the railing that surrounded the raised deck dramatically.

  
Kevin snorted and tripped over the last step, catching himself at the last second. “Do you even know what the northern hemisphere is, Nicky?”

  
“ _Do you even know what the_ —shut the fuck up.” He mimicked then stuck his tongue out as Erik attempted to stifle his laughter but everybody heard it anyway. Kevin rolled his eyes and lifted himself onto it too beside them.

  
“They really aren’t that bad,” Neil replied, defending his new home. He sat up from his cushion, causing Andrew to slide between the two uncomfortably, Neil hauled a large box into the cabin and ushered the cats back inside before they escaped.

“How many rooms does this place have again?” Nicky said, wiping sweat from his  
forehead.

  
“Not enough for you to stay,” Andrew muttered, picking himself up off the ground and assisting Neil in putting the boxes inside.

  
“Katelyn makes better pancakes anyway,” Nicky smirked in Andrew’s direction but he just ignored him, “—and has better bedside manner, you know the last time I stayed at Neil and Andrew’s they—”

  
“—Stayed in bed until half-past twelve and didn’t even offer you a blanket for your cold feet—We know, Nicky you’ve only complained about it every chance you can get.” Allison sneered as she reached the top of the staircase, her usual curled and voluptuous hair stuck up in places and she tossed another piece of light furniture into their growing pile.

  
“Newly-weds,” Renee offered with a simple smile thrown in Andrew’s direction, he  
wanted to bat it away but instead, sent her one back.

  
“We better at least be getting blankets for _this_ , Josten.” Allison continued.

  
Neil offered her a bright smile, “Josten- _Minyard_ ,” he corrected. “And I don’t know that we’ll have enough for all of you, but you should. You are our designer, after all.”

Andrew grunted and rocked his hip into Neil’s throwing him off balance. He had  
forgotten that Allison had somehow convinced Neil to let her design the place, claiming that if she had to stay at the place, the least they could do was brighten it up a bit.

  
Andrew argued that nobody said she _had_ to stay there.

Their cabin was built atop of a hill, maybe it was more like a mountain, all rocky terrain and jagged edges, and was composed almost entirely of massive, floor to ceiling windows. At all times of the day, the amber glow of the sun poured in through them and lit fire to Neil’s auburn locks and simultaneously, Andrew’s heart.

  
The cabin was all exposed beams and deeply tinted oak, full expanses of clean windows and creaking floors and Allison had ruined it. Well, she hadn’t ruined it, but Andrew had a hard time admitting that she’d actually made it better, so he didn’t. He could tell Neil loved it though, and he thought that even though it wasn’t covered with dark, charcoal tinted colours, Andrew did too.

  
The outside of the cabin was made from giant logs that Andrew didn’t believe someone had actually hauled all the way up this mountain and there were a number of strange pieces of new furniture that hung perilously from the exposed beams. Andrew didn’t trust them for second but Nicky didn’t hesitate before jumping into the large wicker globe that hung from their door frame.

  
“What’s first on the agenda, kids?” He crooned and Aaron scoffed as he finally made it up the stairs. The cousins had an agreement now, it wasn’t the sheltered deals or fitful promises they’d made back at Palmetto but an understanding between the three of them. His gratitude for all Nicky had done for them sung an everlasting tune in his veins, he just hoped his cousin was able to read music.

  
“Impromptu Exy game?” Kevin suggested and Andrew sneered.

  
Aaron sucked in a deep breath similar to the way Neil had and glanced around the  
property, Andrew noticed the look on his face, but he didn’t mention it. Aaron and Katelyn had a cabin just down the road, and Andrew would _also_ be lying if he said they’d gotten the cabin for many other reasons than that.

  
Their relationship had grown with them over the years, though he was sure neither of them would put words into their new-found appreciation. It was easier for them to talk now, easier than it had been at least. No longer resorting to cold shoulders or meaningful sneers but real words and consideration, even if it still was from afar.

  
“Exy?” Allison groaned, “where? The lake?” She produced a bottle of wine seemingly  
out of thin air.

  
“Water-Exy?” Neil suggested and Kevin’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

  
“No, no, _no_. We’re adults and we’re getting drunk.” Nicky said as he plucked the bottle out of Allison’s hands. He tipped it back with one hand and pumped the other in the air, excitedly. Kevin groaned in contempt having long forgotten his attachment to alcohol then helped Aaron shove another box into the cabin. Andrew hissed in his direction and Kevin mindfully shepherded King and Sir back inside.

  
“Those are breakable!” Allison said at the same time and Andrew turned to Neil to sigh heavily. It seemed that Neil’s mind was still set on _water-exy_ but as they all filed into the cabin, the idea was promptly forgotten. They spent the rest of the afternoon hanging group pictures and arranging, then _re_ arranging throw blankets and pillows at Allison’s request.

  
Dan and Matt showed up partway through bearing gifts of yet more shit to throw on the walls and carefully selected orange decorations that made Neil visibly giddy. Predictably, Matt folded Neil into one of his famous bear-hugs, lifting him easily off the ground and Andrew did his best to keep the glaring to a minimum. Neil and Matt sat on the porch outside to catch up while the rest of the Foxes worked tirelessly under Allison’s reign.

  
A little after five, Katelyn showed up with food. The cabin's deck lead down to the lake via a rickety bridge that connected the two properties and the Foxes stumbled, mostly drunk towards it.

  
Matt caught up with Andrew on their way down, he was balancing a large plate filled with patties and Matt carried chips, beer and utensils in one hand. “Hey,” he greeted not as cheerfully as he had Neil. “How goes it?” Andrew set the platter on a small glass table set out on the dock and turned to Matt, flicking his gaze from the patties and back to Matt. “I hear there’s a _water-exy_ game in the works,” he chuckled, tossing the contents of his arms down onto the table as well.

  
Andrew cocked an eyebrow, catching Neil’s eyes easily as the redhead made his way down with the others, “over my dead body.”

  
“Fair enough,” he said, holding his hands out in mock surrender, catching Dan by the waist as she walked by and settling down on the deck beside Nicky and Eric.

  
Allison hung for dear life off Renee’s shoulders and Aaron grumpily carried more than a few platters of food down with him. Andrew swiftly claimed the large orange Adirondack chair Neil had insisted on buying and the rest of them scattered around the wooden dock, legs dangling carelessly off it and into the green-blue water below.

  
They ate and chattered like old times, well not anything like old times, really. Still,  
Andrew couldn’t help but feel a _little_ pleased, knowing that this was exactly what time looked like to him.

They went around in a circle, each implored to share something wonderful that had  
happened that year, or even something that they were thankful for. Allison claimed she was appreciative of the alcohol though she tossed her arm around Renee’s shoulder, Kevin announced his new position as Coach at Palmetto and Nicky, like usual, broke into tears halfway through his heartfelt proclamations to each member of the old team. When it was Neil’s turn, he simply looked around at the people who he was surrounded by and gave Andrew a significant glance then continued to eat his turkey burger.

  
“Andrew?” Aaron kicked the leg of Andrew’s chair in an effort to get his attention as if he hadn’t already had it. “Anything you’re particularly grateful for?”

  
It had been a long time since Aaron had glanced towards his and Neil’s relationship with contempt, and for _that_ he was thankful. He had decent cats that, though annoying and wretched, were also loved. Above all, he was thankful for this life, one he thought he never would or perhaps _deserve_ to lead.

  
“No,” Andrew replied, tipping his steadily draining bottle of beer to his lips. After he finished eating, Neil tucked himself beside Andrew on the chair and buried his face into the crook of his neck. He was thankful for this too, he thought.

  
The sun was setting quickly but nobody seemed to mind all that much, Nicky had gotten in the water at some point and was now latched onto Erik’s calves. Kevin and Aaron spoke animatedly about something Andrew hoped wasn’t Exy and Allison thrashed her legs steadily until the dock bobbed up and down in the water. Matt fiddled with a small red speaker until music began to churn out of it and Andrew kept a steady beat where his hand lingered on Neil’s thigh.

Allison was the first one up, whirling Renee into a clumsy sort of waltz and then Eric lifted Nicky out of the water and began to dance with them. Dan had to get on her tip-toes to spin Matt in a circle and Aaron tucked Katelyn’s head into his neck though she had to crouch a little. Kevin tried to get away but Nicky sucked him into the mess as well. Renee twirled Dan in a circle and Matt dipped Kevin, they all danced, a horribly, entangled mess of limbs.

  
Andrew watched a small smile curl over Neil’s lips as he watched them, content to just be in their presence. His hand slowly uncurled itself from between the two of them and reached up until it rested perfectly against Andrew’s heart. Andrew wondered what he could feel with every beat, wondered what exactly those beats were translated to, in Neil’s mind.

He wondered if they sounded like safety, he wondered if they sounded like home. He pressed his lips to the side of Neil’s temple, shaggy auburn hair the only buffer between lips and skin, Neil sighed happily and to Andrew, that noise would always sound the same; like time.

* * *

  
Andrew sat in the wicker chair that hung precariously from their door frame, leading to the back deck. It had been a few years since they’d hauled all that crap up, and the cabin got steadily, more and more cramped with new things Neil had gathered. The initially bare bookshelves were now filled with a plethora of knick-knacks and Exy books, the latter Andrew usually offered up to be used as kindling.

  
The walls were littered with taped and thumbtacked photos of them, the cats and the Foxes over the years. There was one of Dan with her arms draped lovingly around the necks of Allison and Neil, another with Kevin flipping off the camera and Andrew slapping it away too late to ruin the photo entirely. There were photos of the morning they got married, the day they got the cats, the afternoon the twins were born. The knick-knack, on the other hand, were trinkets bought and stolen from the places they’d travelled to, whilst playing the godforsaken sport.

  
The wicker chair, hung by Allison years earlier was a large globe that fit the two of them perfectly and Neil had filled it with quilts and pillows for their comfort. It swung gently as Neil repositioned himself on Andrew’s lap and his grip on Neil’s calf muscle tightened.

  
“Stop moving,” Andrew muttered, his nose stuck in his book as Neil regarded his profile. “Stop staring,” he compromised and after a moment sneered at the pages of his book for good measure.

  
“Any more demands?” Neil prompted, lazily dragging his finger down, across Andrew’s jaw bone. Andrew didn’t have the heart to throw Neil off his lap anymore but he did think about it for a few seconds and the cat asleep in Neil’s arms stirred, Andrew sneered at her too.

  
He tried to focus on the book but Neil nuzzled his head into the crook of Andrew’s neck and any hopes of finishing it went out the window. Andrew turned the page roughly for show.

  
“Andrew?” Neil hummed against his neck and Andrew felt a symphony of goosebumps shrill up it, he glanced down at the redhead. _Redhead_ , of course, was gracious as he was slightly greyer than he had been before. He didn’t mind the grey, Andrew thought it suited him. “What are you thinking about?”

  
He didn’t want to tell him that he was running through a list of good, alternative lives Neil could have separate from Andrew. He didn’t want to tell Neil that every look and brush of his fingertips set a fire so deep inside of him that not even the worst of those thoughts could extinguish it. He didn’t want to tell Neil that his weight was putting his lower body to sleep, so instead, he kept reading, though he figured Neil could probably guess two of the three.

Neil sighed and his breath sent another tremor through Andrew, he smiled and nipped at the goosebumps as they appeared. He tried and failed to reach his coffee mug that sat beside them and Andrew passed it to him.

“Thanks,” he said. “ _I’m_ thinking about how we forgot to buy the cats food last night, in case you were wondering” Neil said.

  
“You can think?” Andrew bit and Neil chuckled into his neck, Andrew would kill for that laugh. Though, he thought there probably wasn’t much that he _wouldn’t_ kill for, everything felt so final and he’d be damned before he lost it.

  
“I’m also thinking—” Neil twisted his body so he was curled into Andrew’s side, legs  
still draped across his lap. Andrew breathed a sigh of relief for the bottom-half of his body, and took off his glasses. “That we should go down to the lake.” Andrew grunted, “c’mon, Drew. It’s our last day of vacation. Soon we’ll have to get back to the real world, actually be presentable, _talk_ to other humans?”

  
Andrew mustered up his best, bored expression and used it on Neil. The redhead squinted his eyes in an attempt to seem threatening, then stroked his fingers through Andrew’s hair. The silver band on his ring-finger caught the light and Andrew caught his lips. They stayed there a few moments more, languid and practiced. He let Neil soothe the jagged edges that threatened to come out and finally gave in and got off the chair. He had to catch a few pillows and one cat as  
Neil struggled to get out as well.

  
Neil huffed, “wait, where are you going?” Andrew glanced back at him noticing that he truly had the audacity to look put-out and rather flustered.

  
“You have the recall of a _goldfish_ ,” he replied, placing his hand on the back of Neil’s neck and leading him out of the doorframe, onto the deck.

It was late afternoon and the light was tilted sideways through the trees, it was hot but bearable. The windows of the cabin all captured the light and scattered it elsewhere across the property. He watched Sir chase the glint of the windchimes across the wooden deck and he took Neil’s hand.

  
From where they stood at the edge of their deck, they could see Aaron and Katelyn in the yard adjacent to theirs, they played with their twins and Andrew couldn't fight the small smile that broke across his face. They walked across the rickety bridge and down to the water, Neil quickly tore off his offensively orange socks and his breath caught as the cool water hit him. He watched him pad across the sand then sit on the dock, his bare legs dangling into the chilled water below.

  
Andrew hung back, breathing in the sweet, murky scent of the moving water and  
watching Neil’s shoulders as he did so as well. After a minute, Neil pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head there. Andrew wasn’t sure how he was coerced into purchasing a cabin located so far from the sun, but Neil’s hand was always warm in his.

  
He buried his feet in the damp sand, the only shade they got down here was just before the dock jutted out from the shore. The rest was littered with green and yellow hues, sunlight peeking through the leaves and sending powerful rays straight onto Neil’s back.

  
They could hear the twins screaming with laughter just around the corner, Andrew  
searched the depths of his psyche to find something, somewhere that minded the noise, but he couldn’t. He stepped onto the dock and it creaked, ebbing softly with the lake. Andrew stopped before he made it the entire way over to Neil, braced himself and began to run. His feet slapped the wood below them and shook the structure so violently that Neil had to hold onto one of the poles that stuck out from the sand.

“Oh, my god!” Neil gasped through his laughter as he watched Andrew run past him and dive into the frigid water, effectively soaking him. “ _Andrew_!”

  
When he emerged there was a smile on his face, Andrew tried not the be affected by the utter feeling across Neil’s face, but he couldn't help it.

  
“What’re you looking at?” He said, swiping his wet hair up and away from his face. Neil slanted his head, eyes roaming the new expanse of Andrew’s bare chest as if it were the first time he was seeing it.

  
“You,” he replied.

  
Andrew gripped his foot from below and tugged himself forward through the water until he was right between Neil’s legs. He still had them tucked under his chin and Andrew hoisted himself upwards. The man’s breath caught from above him as Andrew followed a stray rivulet down his inner thigh, finally Neil let his feet hang down into the water. Andrew turned, hooking his arms around the strong muscle of Neil’s thighs and floated.

* * *

 

For Neil, the years were looking for Andrew, instead of an exit. They were hazy amber mornings and sunlight streaking across Andrew’s bare limbs, silent yes or no’s in every look they shared but most of all, it was just _Andrew_ , a constant and unwavering support right by his side.

  
In the beginning, it was hard. Neil hadn’t realized just how hard it would be for them to be separated, Andrew travelling to play Exy professionally and Neil stuck at Palmetto. Those times were filled with tinny FaceTime calls from dingy hotel rooms halfway across the country and desperately clinging to the scent left on Andrew’s pillow after he’d left.

Neil had never been so utterly trusting of someone since his mother died, but this wasn’t harebrained or frenzied conviction, it was right and definite, upending every emotion Neil had ever felt and masterfully crafting it into something entirely their own.

  
For a long time, Neil thought he could never have this, these muggy mornings with the blankets hiked up to their noses, Andrew’s hair sleep-mussed and his amber eyes soft and lidded. He found it almost suffocatingly domestic but also that he loved every moment. Neil thought that yearning inside of him, for a life like this, full of comfort and ease was as far fetched a reality as his mother suddenly coming back from the dead.

  
Yet, here he was. Here _they_ were.

  
Neil reached out, closing the small space between his and Andrew’s bodies with a light press of his fingertips to whatever was closest. Today, it was Andrew’s elbow. He didn’t start, violently or otherwise like he used to, but inhaled softly as if the feeling of Neil’s fingertips lulled him further into sleep. Neil did his best to scoot closer without disturbing him, pressing his entire body against Andrew’s side, no longer just his fingertips.

  
This caused the man to stir, his softly crafted brows furrowing until Neil rubbed the  
expression from his face. He remembered the first time he had done that and the look that had followed, reshaping every hard angle of Andrew’s face into something pliant and warm.

  
Neil mapped out his face with his fingertips as if he hadn’t done it a thousand times before, he knew every ridge and plain of Andrew’s face well enough to draw from memory. Still, he couldn’t resist brushing the pads of his thumbs against the soft, blonde baby hairs that sprung intricately on Andrew’s hairline or caressing the gruff stubble on his cheeks and chin. After a while, Neil noticed a single amber eyed appeared to be making the same rounds his fingers did on his own face, he flushed and rested his head back down onto the pillow.

After only a moments consideration Andrew shifted himself so he was facing Neil,  
though, it was less of a shift and more of a _pick up your entire body and then drop it back down a few centimetres closer_. Neil remembered the way Andrew used to sleep, back to the wall, features pinched, limbs always braced for the worst. He took in his position now, his legs sprawled defiantly in two different directions, one arm snuggly under Neil’s pillow and the other curled into his own chest. His movements jostled the cats that slept curled at their feet but Andrew didn’t seem to care. His newly sun-kissed hand fought its way out from under his skull  
until it was wedged comfortably between Neil’s cheek and the pillow below him, the pads of his fingers traced an idle pattern where they sat against old scars, and Neil’s breath caught softly in his throat.

  
“Enjoying the view?” Neil tried and failed to keep the smirk off his lips, Andrew huffed, unamused and swiped his thumb across Neil’s lips in an attempt to smother the expression.

  
“Not in the slightest,” he replied though they both knew he was lying.

  
“I was,” Neil said against the thumb that still rested on his lips, mid-eyeroll Neil gestured upwards to the skylight above them and Andrew froze.

  
From where they were positioned, they were able to see the tips of the pine trees that surrounded them, they swayed gently in the morning breeze and suddenly Neil had the deepest urge to feel the air on his skin.

  
“—and I thought you were talking about me,” Andrew murmured where his lips were pressed into Neil’s hair, he smiled and squirmed his way out of Andrew’s grasp. The man sat up after him, the hard look in his eyes did nothing due to the mess sleep had made of his hair. “Josten—”

“Josten-Minyard.” Neil corrected, wrestling his legs into Andrew’s sweatpants, Andrew grunted.

  
“ _Josten-Minyard_ —where the fuck are you going?” Andrew climbed out of bed and  
pulled a hoodie over his head too. Neil pointed upwards as if it were obvious but when the gesture was only met with a raised, golden eyebrow, Neil laughed.

  
“The roof, Andrew. Keep up.” Neil grabbed him by the drawstring of his hoodie and they padded down the hallway together. Andrew had finally given in and let a few Foxes stay over the years but he hadn’t been happy about it, they made sure to be as silent as possible as they made their way down the hallway to the window.

  
Everything about their cabin was sloped, from the angle at which most rooms sat to every photo that hung on the wall. The window at the end of the hallway jutted out only slightly past the curved roof, not enough for it to be treacherous but just enough to slip a toe out to scramble on top.

  
Neil pushed their duvet through the window and up to Andrew when he finally convinced him to get up there and Neil followed after him. The roof was wood too, which hadn’t surprised Andrew, but over the years the many rain storms had worn it down until it was soft and smooth to the touch. Andrew opened the comforter to him and Neil curled in.

  
“I’ve been thinking,” Neil paused, letting the early morning air cut through his hair in a way that sent goosebumps down his arms and legs. “About time,” he clarified, from beside him Andrew curled the blanket closer to himself and in that, closer to Neil.

  
“Time,” Andrew repeated.

  
“Time, but also—myself?” Neil found Andrew’s hands under the duvet and spun the  
silver wedding band, round and round.

“You have always been rather self-obsessed,” Andrew conceded.

  
“I’m serious,” Neil said, “I never—I just never thought that I could have any of this, you know? When it was just me and my mom,” he watched Andrew’s practiced scorn grace his features. “It was always just a fight to get to tomorrow, and then the next day and the one after that. It wasn’t looking into the future, or thinking about the next time I would be able to, touch someone I loved, it was survival, it was learned distrust and careful fear. But now—” he stuttered and Andrew’s finger curled around his own in solidarity. “Now, I think it just scares me a little that I can’t find those feelings inside of me, anymore. There’s no, what if, it just _is_. It’s promised, it’s sure—it’s _you_ , Andrew. It’s you.”

  
Neil stole a glance in Andrew’s direction, his amber gaze far off to where the sun rose lazily over the pines but Neil knew he was listening. Andrew’s voice was rough and scratchy when he finally spoke, “you’re getting soft in your old age.”

  
Neil snorted and shouldered into him, then Andrew took Neil’s chin into his hands,  
“thank you,” his voice was soft, fleeting like the mountain air around them. “You _are_ amazing.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, clearly!! I couldn't figure out how to italicize any of the words that were supposed to be, so, yeah, sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed it and we all love a little constructive criticism! <3 :)
> 
> Update: I think I fixed it?? Idk I tried


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